fry me a river

I have a crush on Alton Brown.

I have been known to believe that celebrities would be my friend if given the chance. For example, I think Courteney Cox and I would really get along – we’re Southern, her birthday is the day before mine, etc. During the Newlyweds run, I also deluded myself into believing that Jessica Simpson and I were friends. I even pictured myself to be that one friend that Lindsay Lohan could count on when all her other friends were taking advantage of her.

On to Alton Brown. He’s essentially the Hugh Laurie of Food Network – handsome, knowledgeable and witty, and I think he would like to be my friend if I could abduct him and drag him to dinner or on an outing. The host of Good Eats and Iron Chef America also is the face for Feasting on Asphalt, a show that travels the ins and outs of the United States in search of the little-known and local favorite eateries that lie beyond the beaten path. I do worry about him on his motorcycle (another Hugh Laurie parallel), though.

This season of Feasting on Asphalt is dedicated to the Mississippi River, from where it empties into the Gulf Coast up to its humble beginnings in Minnesota. The episode “Fry Me a River” features Alton and his “renegade band of motorcycling flavor-seekers [invading] Mississippi, a land where just about everything is deep-fried and sauced in secrecy.” With stops in Natchez, Lorman (wherever that is), Vicksburg and Greenville, he’s bound to visit somewhere you’ve been or at least heard of. And for those of you who watch the Food Network, you know how Mississippi seems to pop up quite regularly, whether it be in series like this one or on the Viking Ranges featured on nearly every set (including Alton’s AND Iron Chef America’s Kitchen Stadium).

Check the FoA website for air times. The next one is Wednesday, August 15 at 8 p.m. ET.