"I've discovered that my own little postage stamp of native soil was worth writing about and that I would never live long enough to exhaust it."
- William Faulkner

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


We all have those movies that we just adored when we were younger. And when they appear on television these days, we stop in our tracks and immediately tune in. For Kell, these include, but are not limited to: The Ghostbusters, Karate Kid (all 3 with Daniel-San, not the Hilary Swank edition), Caddyshack and Back to the Future (the trilogy, of course). My long-time faves would probably be The Fugitive, Dumb & Dumber and the classic Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. That’s why this story has me so excited.

Hollywood rumor has it that there is a script floating around written by a little-known writer for a Ferris Bueller sequel. Now, I admit I was skeptical at first – some movies just shouldn’t be revisited. However, upon reading the article, I am very intrigued and hopeful. The screenwriter evidently preserves the wit and humor of the original while presenting Ferris Bueller, now a successful motivational self-help guru (complete with “Life Moves Pretty Fast” motto), as he approaches his 40th birthday and decides to take another day off. Is there a better job for an adult Ferris?

The script is being shopped about Tinseltown in hopes that John Hughes, the director of the original, will take the project on. And, of course, the story doesn’t neglect Ferris’s friends:
  • Cameron, his uptight buddy, manages Ferris’s bustling career.
  • Ferris' sister, Jeanie, is married to the boy she met and made out with in the police station (Charlie Sheen).
  • No longer a school administrator, Rooney is still stalking Ferris for revenge.
  • The economics teacher played by Ben Stein (he of the "Bueller . . . Bueller . . ." roll call) is an airline gate representative. Brilliant!
  • Ferris' high school girlfriend Sloane Peterson is a Hollywood star going through a rough marriage.

I hope Ferris has a red sports care identical to that of Cameron’s dad. I would also like to request that Sarah Jessica Parker play Cameron's wife. I should be a casting director.

Friday, August 24, 2007

sick vick

I’ve held off posting about this as long as I could due to the sensitive subject matter. There are current events that happen to strike a chord with me that make me sad, and I try to be sympathetic, a la Lindsay Lohan. Then there are events that strike me on a different level, and instead of sympathy, these happenings just make me furious. No other way to say it.

Michael Vick. I don’t think I really even need to explain. This thug, with his big shot #1 draft pick NFL contract, has been given everything – untouchable talent, possessions and more money than he could ever spend. And instead of using his fame and fortune for the greater good (see Deuce McAllister), Vick decided to indulge his egotism by bankrolling dog fights with Bad Newz Kennels. Oh, I couldn’t make that name up.

Vick’s two co-defendants pleaded guilty days before he did and immediately pointed fingers at Vick, who has since admitted to the dog fighting conspiracy along with participating in the killing (read: via drowning or hanging) of the pit bulls that didn’t perform well in training sessions. But don’t worry, he didn’t gamble on the fights or collect winnings. No, because that would be incorrigible. There is something so narcissistic about training dogs to fight to kill and in turn, killing them when they don’t. Just seeing his arrogant signature on that plea agreement (a.k.a. "Ookie"? seriously?) makes my blood boil.

Seriously, this sorry excuse for a man should never be allowed near a football field ever again, not to mention should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. Not only for the crime he committed, but also because he chose to waste his talent and destroy his career for ridiculous, uncivilized events. And the question remains: will Vick’s high-powered defense team, which undoubtedly is the best his dirty money can buy, get him the proverbial slap on the wrist? Or, will some judge decide to actually take a stand against money and fame and make Michael Vick trade his bling for prison stripes? We'll have to wait until November to find out.

not your average dog house

I love my dogs; I really do. We feed them, take care of them, provide outstanding health care and give them all the attention they could possibly want. Still, even this is a little over-the-top for me.

A couple in Texas recently built a 14,000-square foot home complete with two-story library and a dog house for their Cavalier King Charles spaniels. Not just any dog house, mind you. This posh puppy pad is 3 by 7 feet and features a flat-screen TV (I don’t even have one of those), individual beds and blankets, paw print wallpaper and a canvas canopy displaying the pups’ separate address. The cost of the room? Nearly $6,000.

And evidently, this is no new trend. Interior designers all over the country are incorporating designated dog areas into homes left and right. Two designers mentioned in this article use ceramic stone in-floor heated and cooled tile to keep paws comfortable with changing weather. They’ll include closets for food and gear and pegboards for leashes. They’ve even installed fiberglass basins with handheld showers and tiled walls that clean muddy paws and allow for fur shakes.

My mom always says that people like this have “more money than they have sense,” and I am inclined to agree. And I don’t know that the twins would even be happy with it. We can pack a room with as many treats as can fit, and they still just want to hang out with us and chew on Kell’s belt.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

happy c-day

26 years ago on this very day,
Claire entered the world in the usual way.
As a child, she was chatty and skippy,
telling everyone who’d listen that she was the real Pippi.

She began her life in the Cajun state,
And now has an Alabama license plate.
In Starkville began her love of school and class,
With her first grade teacher, Mrs. Sassafras.
One of three kids in the Hardin fam,
she’s been known to say “It’s not your turn, is it, Sam?”
It seemed she and Hannah were always in trouble,
and with Alexis, the mischief most definitely doubled.
With a pumpkin as a weapon and causing quite a racket,
the three infuriated the teacher in the leather jacket.
She had many loves, and it was clear by her manner,
when she managed to purchase the A Time to Kill banner.
Mesmerized by Clifford and that Martin Short man,
She’s rarely seen without a worm in hand.

Also quite fond of Cow Tales and Junior Mints,
She once said “havoc!” when it didn’t make sense.
And now she’s the teacher, leading her own group of kids,
Just like years ago, as Mrs. Sassafras did.
One of my oldest and dearest friends, I miss her every day,
I’m glad I now have this blog so that I may say...

“Happy Birthday, Claire!”

Thursday, August 16, 2007

i vant to give my blood

There are certain things I feel a person should do to improve the quality of life for his fellow man (or man’s best friend). I love to vote, I’m an organ donor (I’m pretty sure) and I love sending Alan at CARA his $20 check every month. Not to mention the two monsters we adopted and had spayed/neutered at the request of Bob Barker. Kell and my dad have always given blood regularly, as Kelley evidently does (see right), and after little convincing from Kell yesterday, I decided I would do the same.

We had planned to go after work, and I was really excited. I felt as though this would be one of those things that I could do to really be of worthy assistance to the 97% of people who will need blood at some point in their lives. I was a little afraid I would pass out, and Kell said he would laugh and pick me up. As I waited for my turn at the needle, I saw people eating their cookies and drinking their orange juice, and I was really feeling good. I was going to join the few, the proud – the blood donors.

When my name was called, I entered the little room where the nurse took my name, social security number, etc. while I read the list of questions asked of fellow donors. None struck me as being a big hurdle, so I waited and had my finger stuck to test my hemoglobin. It hurt. I remembered why I hated getting physicals as a child. But, taking one for the team, I persevered. Evidently, a donor must have an iron level of 12.5 to donate. Well, mine was 11.9. Bummer. The nurse asked me if I’d like to be stuck again, and I agreed. 11.4. Great. I’d been rejected by Mississippi Blood Services.

Just then, I heard Kell’s loud laugh. I couldn’t imagine that he’d enjoyed the blood test enough to be jubilant, and the nurse then told me that his iron level was too low, too. We were now 0 for 2. And, since I was so let down about getting the no-go and other things that day, Kell took me to Little Tokyo even though it's expensive and he hates it.

I have a history of low iron, but I’m not giving up. Though my fingers hurt as I am typing this, I will try again.

That story really was a lot of rising action for little climax. Sorry. I just wanted to share, and I’m not the storyteller that Heather is. Even though I am a better speller.

Monday, August 13, 2007

fry me a river

I have a crush on Alton Brown.

I have been known to believe that celebrities would be my friend if given the chance. For example, I think Courteney Cox and I would really get along – we’re Southern, her birthday is the day before mine, etc. During the Newlyweds run, I also deluded myself into believing that Jessica Simpson and I were friends. I even pictured myself to be that one friend that Lindsay Lohan could count on when all her other friends were taking advantage of her.

On to Alton Brown. He’s essentially the Hugh Laurie of Food Network – handsome, knowledgeable and witty, and I think he would like to be my friend if I could abduct him and drag him to dinner or on an outing. The host of Good Eats and Iron Chef America also is the face for Feasting on Asphalt, a show that travels the ins and outs of the United States in search of the little-known and local favorite eateries that lie beyond the beaten path. I do worry about him on his motorcycle (another Hugh Laurie parallel), though.

This season of Feasting on Asphalt is dedicated to the Mississippi River, from where it empties into the Gulf Coast up to its humble beginnings in Minnesota. The episode “Fry Me a River” features Alton and his “renegade band of motorcycling flavor-seekers [invading] Mississippi, a land where just about everything is deep-fried and sauced in secrecy.” With stops in Natchez, Lorman (wherever that is), Vicksburg and Greenville, he’s bound to visit somewhere you’ve been or at least heard of. And for those of you who watch the Food Network, you know how Mississippi seems to pop up quite regularly, whether it be in series like this one or on the Viking Ranges featured on nearly every set (including Alton’s AND Iron Chef America’s Kitchen Stadium).

Check the FoA website for air times. The next one is Wednesday, August 15 at 8 p.m. ET.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

you're definitely a redneck if...

Ok, people. We all know Mississippi has its share of rednecks, too many of whom revel in the name while the remainder of us refuse to plaster a Dale Jr. sticker on our cars and try to maintain some semblance of grace and style. The recent “Redneck Games” in Athens, Texas would most certainly be a sort of backwoods mecca to this conspicuous demographic.

Now, I was a member of the Starkville Academy class who started the Mud Bowl (I did not attend, mind you), and I lived in the Delta for two years, so I have seen plenty of ‘necks. It seems as though the citizens in this typically quiet, small Texas town are not particularly fond of the Texas Muddy Gras, which takes place occasionally in an ATV field. I particularly like the Mattress Chuck, a field event of sorts where drunks load the beds of their trucks with a mattress and a boozed friend and attempt to throw the mattress as far as possible. Wow.

And this is no small gathering – 6,000 mullet-sporting, wife beater-wearing guys and gals attended this year’s four-day event. And, as if it weren’t redneck enough, Oscar, the founder of the games, could face jail time for not obtaining a permit for the event.

I’m just glad it’s not in Mississippi. Yet.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

haley in the house

I love it when I’m able to wear my friends down.

I’ve been pleading with Haley for months to get a blog, and she finally caved. Haley and I have only known each other for a little over a year, but we became immediate friends when she moved from Jackson to Greenwood and started work at The Alluvian (where I was employed at the time). I don’t even remember what it was like getting to know her because it was like we had already been friends all our lives.

And all would be amiss if I failed to give her Boston Terrier LuLu a shout-out. For the first few months of her life, we thought LuLu was “special” since she didn’t bark. Come to find out - that is one of the BT’s traits. Not sure about the underbite, though. I think head gear is in order. Just kidding. Kind of.

Be sure to check out Haley’s blog (Heather did her banner, and it is SO cute!) so you can add her to the ever-growing blog stalking list.

Welcome, Haley!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

rock the vote

Today is one of my most favorite days – Election Day. It’s actually the primary, but I get excited whenever I have the opportunity to vote. I’m completely aware that I am a nerd.

Just as Victoria Beckham no doubt encouraged all her famous friends to attend her hot footballer husband’s first game with the LA Galaxy, I’m encouraging you to support MY husband and vote today. No, he’s not running for office, but he does work for the state’s Elections Division. And those shiny new voting machines you used today? You can (sort of) thank Kell for those.

Since this is my blog, and I can post whatever I want, I’m endorsing my friend, Charlie Ross, for Lieutenant Governor for the state of Mississippi. I am sure Sen. Ross is ecstatic to have my overwhelming support and appreciates the astounding readership of my site. Lt. Governor is an extremely powerful position in Mississippi’s legislation, and In addition to my coveted support, he has been endorsed by the NRA (Claire, your dad should love that) and Mississippi’s Right to Life among many other organizations. He’s been a state Senator for 10 years, has an impeccable voting record and was recently named “National Legislator of the Year.” Of course, there will be another election in November, but in order to get the right candidates on the fall ballot, we have to take a step in the right direction in the beginning.

Mississippians, click here for an Election 2007 guide to the primaries.

On another note, it’s Matt Armstrong’s birthday today! If you see this handsome devil, wish him a Happy 27th B’day!

Monday, August 6, 2007

georgia on my mind

Wow. The demand for an updated post has been debilitating (thanks for your concern, Feather). For those of you wondering why I haven’t been blowing up my blog for the past week, don’t fear – I was, in the words of Willie Nelson, on the road again. This time in Dahlonega, Georgia at Southeast Tourism Society Marketing College, a series of “classes” that when completed earn the student a TMP, whatever that means.

Luckily, after boarding a plane to Atlanta and riding in the car for an hour to reach the booming metropolis that is Dahlonega (pronounced duh-LAHN-uh-guh), I met up with some fellow tourism friends – Mary-Kathryn from Oxford (Olive eats Rebels), Kappi from Clarksdale, Susan from DeSoto County and Paige from Greenwood, my old stomping grounds.

I have to say that though the intent of the trip was to fill my head with knowledge of all things marketing, perhaps not surprisingly, the most fun was had outside the classroom. Crazy, I know. We had dinner at a winery one night, which was really lovely. My fear of food-borne illness prevented me from really eating, but it was nice nonetheless. Dahlonega is about 12 miles from an outlet mall, and I was able to pick up some Under Armour essentials for Kell and some cute yellow shoes for me. We also had a couple of lunches at Moe’s, which is now my new favorite place and had several breakfasts at Chick-fil-A (I recommend the Chick-n-Minis).

Moving past the food, we did girly things, too. We painted each other’s nails (mine were Dutch Tulips), drank wine in our pajamas and watched Big Love (for those of you who don’t watch it, it’s disturbing, yet you can’t look away – a sort of train wreck of a TV show). Mary-Kathryn tried to help me embrace my curly hair, and one afternoon was spent tubing down the Chestatee River. I use the term “tubing” loosely as it was more like floating down the river while you happen to be in a tube. At any rate, due to the low water, our rear ends kept getting scraped, and Kappi spent much of the trip either upside down or stuck between rocks.

All in all, a good trip, but I was glad to get home. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post dedicated to Election Day.
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