"I've discovered that my own little postage stamp of native soil was worth writing about and that I would never live long enough to exhaust it."
- William Faulkner

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

little irks...and a baby shower!

Hope you enjoyed my previous post about my can't-live-withouts. I actually found this one a little more difficult, but I persevered nonetheless for my devoted readers. Same rules apply - no biggies (we all hate terrorists and the Devil, right?) but just little irks that keep you from total superficial bliss.

You better believe I can live without...

Bathroom stall conversations. OK, people. Don't talk to me while you or I am in the bathroom stall. Basic rule of thumb - if the other party with whom you are conversing is in the bathroom stall, hold your questions or comments until he or she emerges and you can talk face-to-face. I don't think that is too much to ask. Oh, and DON'T talk on your cell phone in the stall either. Let's be civilized.

Vertigo. My dad has had this affliction for years, and I've always had little bouts of it here and there. But recently, it's been making me crazy, and I've found little to no relief. So if you happen to see me running into corners or stumbling around, I'm not drunk, just dizzy. Pity party at my house!

Iceberg lettuce. This one's for you, Beth! It has no nutritional value, no taste and no color. Other than rabbits, why would anyone want to eat it? Whenever I order a salad from a restaurant, I spend about 5 minutes picking out all the colorless chunks and throwing them away, leaving me to enjoy only the nutrient-rich leafy greens.

Shaggy. The "musician" (and I use that term loosely), not the Scooby Doo character. There's no way that guy really talks like he sings, so why have that ridiculous voice that sounds like he has phlegm in his throat? And I'm all for an artist having a sound all his own, but it doesn't count when all your songs sound alike.

Hiccups. Not only do I hate having them myself, but I cannot STAND it when someone else has them. Just ask Kell.

Know-it-alls. No one knows everything about everything. Even Einstein admitted he'd never understand women. If you don't know something, just admit it. There's no crime in ignorance - just learn something and move on. And don't monopolize conversations; sometimes other people have interesting comments to add. So, now you mean to tell me you're smarter than Einstein? Doubtful.

Captain D's. It will be a wonderful world when one day, if someone asks me what I'd like for lunch I won't have to say, "just not Captain D's." Another rule of thumb - seafood should not be ordered and picked up via a drive-through window. It's as simple as that.

Traffic. I am well aware that the traffic in Jackson is nothing compared to larger cities and that some people would kill for a 20-minute commute into work. But why do people seem to forget how to drive when it rains? And if you had a wreck on the interstate would you won't both lanes of traffic slowing down to survey the damage? Of course not.

Wrestling. So let me get this straight - it's a soap opera for boys? And some wrestlers are good and some are bad? And every week someone different is the Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion or whatever and carries around that stupid belt? And there are scantily-clad skanks that wrestle in terrible boots? And I'm supposed to believe that it's real? No, thank you.

Bad cell phone etiquette. Don't talk on your cell phone: in the bathroom stall (see my first gripe)...in an elevator - we can all hear you, and we don't care...while you're in the check-out line at the grocery store, bank, etc. - that's just rude. And before you make that purchase, ask yourself: "Do I REALLY need a blue tooth?"

Yikes. I promise I'm a nice person. Don't hate me for all of this bad blog energy.

To end on a pleasant note, spent some time in my former home of Greenwood this weekend helping to give a baby shower for my dear friend, Elizabeth Burgess. It was so nice to get to see everyone and to see E's cute belly! I can't wait to meet Baby Price! And thanks, Haley for letting me stay!

The cake looks like Henry!

The hostesses and Elizabeth (and yes, I have bad posture and one shoe off).


Anisa said...

LOVE YOUR LIST. i so agree with you. i hate wrestling, blue tooths, bathroom stall convos, etc. etc.

Harris Helen said...

cute yellow dress! i HATE Shaggy.

KK said...

Hiccups, really? Just wait until Junior has them and nothing will stop them. How do you teach a 6 week old to hold their breath? Also, there is nothing like a baby in the womb with the hiccups!

The Robertsons said...

The list is great! Did your shoe break?

Anonymous said...

msks...i am a fellow vertigo sufferer. it has gotten worse for me since i started working the early news. i have found that bonine works the best - try it. dramamine is no good, gotta be bonine. not generic either. kelley knows now when i am spinning around, he's gotta run to walgreens :)

laura mc

Anonymous said...

LOve your yellow dress, May May. MOM

Nick and Kelly Sikes said...

Hi...randomly discovered your blog. I, too, suffer from Vertigo and balance issues...hate it passionately! Believe it or not my neuro doc prescribed a teeny tiny dose of generic klonipin. It has helped...a little. Also sometimes just some Claritin will help.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...